Interior by Eddie Van Halen.
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Interior by Eddie Van Halen.

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In classical mythology, Cerberus was the demon dog who guarded the entrance to Hades, and was also allowed on the bed.
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In classical mythology, Cerberus was the demon dog who guarded the entrance to Hades, and was also allowed on the bed.

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Part of a contemporary art project in which agents attempt to photograph, market, and sell a complete absence of anything valuable.
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Part of a contemporary art project in which agents attempt to photograph, market, and sell a complete absence of anything valuable.

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Built during the Great Door Shortage of 1987.
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Built during the Great Door Shortage of 1987.

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Relax, it’s just a really creepy doll with a creepy doll all of its own. 
Oh, and a shotgun.
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Relax, it’s just a really creepy doll with a creepy doll all of its own.

Oh, and a shotgun.

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Kit house. Used. Instruction booklet not included.
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Kit house. Used. Instruction booklet not included.

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Leaving your bathwater for the next owner is ecologically admirable, but hygenically naïve.
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Leaving your bathwater for the next owner is ecologically admirable, but hygenically naïve.

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To create a positive vibe around a property, we recommend avoiding sulky and faintly menacing children.
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To create a positive vibe around a property, we recommend avoiding sulky and faintly menacing children.

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The current owner is very much looking forward to being released into the community.
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The current owner is very much looking forward to being released into the community.

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This area has a problem with surprisingly bold urban foxes. 
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This area has a problem with surprisingly bold urban foxes.

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He never won “agent of the month”, but did bag the “most technically accomplished selfie” award.
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He never won “agent of the month”, but did bag the “most technically accomplished selfie” award.

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It’s not a small photograph, it’s just very far away.
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It’s not a small photograph, it’s just very far away.

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The endless ineptitude will be available as a solid object in September. With 170 incomprehensibly awful new and unpublished examples:
Available to pre-order now on Amazon

The endless ineptitude will be available as a solid object in September. With 170 incomprehensibly awful new and unpublished examples:

Available to pre-order now on Amazon

A surprising number of people still fall for the old ‘photograph of a house instead of an actual house’ trick.
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A surprising number of people still fall for the old ‘photograph of a house instead of an actual house’ trick.

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Whatever your politics, it’s a nice touch by the organisers of the firing squad to give everyone a seat.
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Whatever your politics, it’s a nice touch by the organisers of the firing squad to give everyone a seat.

Follow on Twitter @BadRealtyPhotos