Remember when we were contacted by visitors from another world? Timmy certainly does.
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Remember when we were contacted by visitors from another world? Timmy certainly does.

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Act 1, scene 1: An empty hospital bed, some old flowers, several books of carpet samples. A phone rings…
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Act 1, scene 1: An empty hospital bed, some old flowers, several books of carpet samples. A phone rings…

Book now available for pre-order on Amazon

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The flush mechanism is elaborate, unorthodox, and spectacular.
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The flush mechanism is elaborate, unorthodox, and spectacular.

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Sometimes when you lose your keys it’s easier just to buy a new door.
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Sometimes when you lose your keys it’s easier just to buy a new door.

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Go ahead, that’s just Floyd. He set his alarm for Wednesday.

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Go ahead, that’s just Floyd. He set his alarm for Wednesday.

Book now available for pre-order on Amazon

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asker

eliza-the-fangirl asked: Funniest blog ever. I haven't laughed so hard in ages - your sarcasm is a thing of beauty!

Thank you. You should hear my defeatist claptrap.

Say hello to Frank, runner-up in the Needlessly Complicated category at the 2014 Selfie of the Year awards. 

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This property first appeared as Level 4 of a video game in 1983.
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This property first appeared as Level 4 of a video game in 1983.

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This way you can go for a long, lonely, and depressing bike ride without even leaving the house.
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This way you can go for a long, lonely, and depressing bike ride without even leaving the house.

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Here’s the garden. Landscape it yourself.
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Here’s the garden. Landscape it yourself.

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Behold, the Gateway to Almost Certain Disappointment.
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Behold, the Gateway to Almost Certain Disappointment.

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Microsoft have released a Real Estate Agent edition of Photoshop, with security features designed to prevent this sort of thing.
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Microsoft have released a Real Estate Agent edition of Photoshop, with security features designed to prevent this sort of thing.

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The previous owners are gradually being disposed of by their eldest son, Brian. 
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The previous owners are gradually being disposed of by their eldest son, Brian. 

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The wallpaper on which Alexander Fleming discovered Penicillin in 1928.
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The wallpaper on which Alexander Fleming discovered Penicillin in 1928.

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The garden is a little patch of paradise, for anyone immune to stinging nettles and giant hogweed.
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The garden is a little patch of paradise, for anyone immune to stinging nettles and giant hogweed.

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