Police are still investigating how Mr Stevens came to be replaced by a pile of sawdust.
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Police are still investigating how Mr Stevens came to be replaced by a pile of sawdust.

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Relive the delights of the First World War with your very own stagnant shell hole.
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Relive the delights of the First World War with your very own stagnant shell hole.

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Try to avoid “lifestyle shots” if they involve semi-naked elderly men.
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Try to avoid “lifestyle shots” if they involve semi-naked elderly men.

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The neighbours are very friendly, and are paid $30 per hour by a local casting agency.
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The neighbours are very friendly, and are paid $30 per hour by a local casting agency.

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Oh don’t mind Baxter. It means he likes you.
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Oh don’t mind Baxter. It means he likes you.

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asker

2e1hsb asked: I showed my parents this, and spent the next 2 hours listening to them screech. Good job!

A common reaction, give your parents my sincerest apologies.

Evidently the haulage company have underestimated the size of the task.
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Evidently the haulage company have underestimated the size of the task.

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Buyers may wish to correct the orientation of the house before moving in.
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Buyers may wish to correct the orientation of the house before moving in.

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It’s the same at every party. The white goods spend the whole night hanging out in the kitchen.
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It’s the same at every party. The white goods spend the whole night hanging out in the kitchen.

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Part of a modern art installation entitled “Things are looking up”.
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Part of a modern art installation entitled “Things are looking up”.

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Best make an early start if you want to reach the sofa before sundown.
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Best make an early start if you want to reach the sofa before sundown.

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The owners have had to take every precaution with what they call the Hannibal Lecter of Wardrobes.
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The owners have had to take every precaution with what they call the Hannibal Lecter of Wardrobes.

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Soon after the Great Door Shortage of 1987 came the World Window Famine, when daydreaming hit an all-time low.
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Soon after the Great Door Shortage of 1987 came the World Window Famine, when daydreaming hit an all-time low.

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This is what happens when you give a monkey his own room and let him decorate.
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This is what happens when you give a monkey his own room and let him decorate.

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asker

owlalone asked: I just missed Germany's first goal because I couldn't tear my eyes away from this damn blog.

Apologies. I promise not to post during the semi-finals.