Ralph was a gifted topiarist, but he struggled with faces.
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Ralph was a gifted topiarist, but he struggled with faces.

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No doubt that rug looked much bigger in the shop.
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No doubt that rug looked much bigger in the shop.

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Hello, police? The agent’s back, and he’s making himself at home. Bring tasers.
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Hello, police? The agent’s back, and he’s making himself at home. Bring tasers.

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There are only 3 things more depressing than this room. They are the sofa, carpet, and wallpaper in this room.
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There are only 3 things more depressing than this room. They are the sofa, carpet, and wallpaper in this room.

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Still popular in some countries, the stuffing of recently deceased relatives is increasingly frowned upon.
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Still popular in some countries, the stuffing of recently deceased relatives is increasingly frowned upon.

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Impress your dinner guest by making tiny portions look gigantic.
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Impress your dinner guest by making tiny portions look gigantic.

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Oddly, the current occupant has been kind enough to provide a live demo of the en suite.
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Oddly, the current occupant has been kind enough to provide a live demo of the en suite.

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The Richardsons were optimistic that their most recent bout of constipation would soon be at an end.
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The Richardsons were optimistic that their most recent bout of constipation would soon be at an end.

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As the music fades and the children start crying, a late entrant for the title of World’s Saddest Birthday Party.
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As the music fades and the children start crying, a late entrant for the title of World’s Saddest Birthday Party.

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When you do finally decide to let me in, I’ll need to take you through some house rules.
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When you do finally decide to let me in, I’ll need to take you through some house rules.

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An unusual approach: “Rent this apartment or the dog gets it”.
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An unusual approach: “Rent this apartment or the dog gets it”.

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The view isn’t great, but you’ll be first to hear if it turns out there’s life on other planets.
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The view isn’t great, but you’ll be first to hear if it turns out there’s life on other planets.

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Suspicions were first raised when the mysterious aristocratic buyer from Eastern Europe installed a sarcophagus in the bedroom.
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Suspicions were first raised when the mysterious aristocratic buyer from Eastern Europe installed a sarcophagus in the bedroom.

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Seriously Graeme, that doesn’t even work in cartoons. Get dressed.
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Seriously Graeme, that doesn’t even work in cartoons. Get dressed.

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We are assured that the area’s flora and fauna has been entirely unaffected by the nearby nuclear power station.
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We are assured that the area’s flora and fauna has been entirely unaffected by the nearby nuclear power station.

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